Till Masks Fall Apart

Going Anonymous, and look for a blind hook ups through the internet sometimes is not good at all.

Dating sites is not popular in gay community in Hargeisa or Somaliland; So Facebook is the solution to meet others and get laid; And nobody is honest about their role, all are Tops, and always Versatile, no body claims being Bottom, all are in denial, its a stigma of gay men around the world.

Its always like this whenever i try to chat with someone on Facebook , when everyone is using Anonymous profiles with fake names to get men, fake appearance description, and for sure the age is false.

It was a long time since i met someone through internet, so i tried to hook up, and i met this man, we chatted for 2 days then decided to meet, he insisted to meet him directly for sex without date, or pre meeting or something; i was kind of scared because of thinking it might be an outing technique from a young boy "that's what i heard many times from different men i met abroad , about young curious guys in Hargeysa, who likes to meet men and get laid and then start blackmail them".

Made my mind, and called him, drove to the place he told me about, and i was shocked; The age number he told me was wrong, the appearance was different from what he mentioned, and i saw him before in many places as pious man. Nothing else was wrong, but i felt weird and something, and i stopped my self immediately from taking this step.

Went back to my car immediately with no word, i felt bad but didnt thought about it till later.

Thinking within my self, how many people like him are in disguise in the daylight, and when the sun goes down start chasing men, and the next day acts religious or pious; the whole city is in a denial.

I'm not an religious practicing person, but i dont act like i am.

Went to many parties, were girls and boys feels free and act different from their daily personality character.

Hypocrisy in its highest levels going on here. Its hard to see people being the victims of the system of older generation built for them. Young men acting like 30 to be accepted, female teenagers who wants to act like an older women to be a marriage material and be accepted from their community.

Being the way you like won't hurt anyone, you can be free from culture formula which looks based on religion and its always not!

I know its not an easy thing to except homosexuality in an east African country, but we hope that someday we will reach the level of acceptance.

No Chance!

It was a weekend, we had a plan to meet and make out.

I searched my room and couldn’t find any condoms, I asked him on phone and he didn’t have too.

I had to go to down town to pharmacies to buy some; one long scenario with different actors happened that night "it was worth to shot a film about it" one of the pharmacy keepers couldn’t believe what i was asking him, he tried to explain to me that he got 2 different condoms, one for some kind surgical thing (which after I checked wasn’t condom) and condom, then he replied no i don’t have! 

I knew they all sell it "even though the NGOs and Humanitarian agencies provides it for free, the pharmacies still will sell it, with double price of the average cost!" but I had to tour the whole down town for the damn condoms, after 1 hour and 20mins of searching; i found it in a far from down town pharmacy, but he gave me that disgust look when I asked him and he replied "$2 for one " i was like what? He replied “if you need it this is the price take it or go”. I was out the whole night so I couldn’t leave it behind, and knowing that someone was on hold the whole night waiting for me too. Bought 3 pieces with $6 and NO DISCOUNT!

It’s one of the million different stories you will hear from people who tried to enjoy their time, and forced them self to have sex without protection.

Another different thing I faced with the guys here, is the fear from using protection, thinking the condom bag got the diseases, reasoning by saying “western companies injects/pack it with diseases so that people will get sick”.

No excuse of having sex with no protection, I can understand where it coming from with the much sexual frustration going here, but I can see diseases spreading so fast!

I had to leave some of the guys on hold and not do anything after the crazy attitude of not using protection; with the need of getting physical I had to leave!

I haven’t come across any lubricants in stores or pharmacies; the invention of lubricants doesn’t exist here at all, Vaseline and other body lotions are popular, but usually they will go with the rough way its easy and fast “as someone said to me before”.

As we know Somali men doesn’t live alone if their families and relatives are in the same city, as a bachelor you have to live with them till you get marry even if you’re above 30 years old!; So meeting men and having casual sex is hard “can’t say intimate sex, as I mentioned before in my last post homosexuals doesn’t believe in their orientation, it’s just an urge they need to fulfill with other men”, so cars are the motels, parking car in any corner of the city, and have a quick short sex is the only way, that cause unsafe sex.

Someone needs to do something about this; we need organization/Agency which can provide safe sex/protection products to people.

INGOs tries to educate youth about this every year, just with a seminar/workshops, and at the end not providing any products, why? Because the Somali members who works in these INGOs thinks the availability of condoms encourages sex and premarital sex.

People will have sex, either they are homosexual or heterosexual, nothing will stop them; provide protection for them its their right.